[Intro] Guess who? D'you miss me? Jessica Simpson: sing the chorus

[Hook: Charmagne Tripp] When you walked through the door It was clear to me You're the one they adore Who they came to see You're a... rock star Everybody wants you, player Who can really blame you? We're the ones who made you

[Verse 1] Ahem, back by popular demand Now pop a little Zantac for antacid if you can You're ready to tackle any task that is at hand How does it feel? Is it fantastic? Is it grand? Well, look at all the massive masses in the stands "Shady man, no, don't massacre the fans!" Damn, I think Kim Kardashian's a man She stomped him just cause he asked to put his hands On her massive gluteus maximus again Squeeze it and squish it and pass it to a friend Can he come back as nasty as he can? Yes he can-can: don't ask me this again He does not mean to lesbians offend But Lindsay: please come back to seeing men Samantha's a 2; you're practically a 10 I know you want me, girl; in fact, I see you grin Now come in, girl

[Hook: Charmagne Tripp] When you walked through the door It was clear to me You're the one they adore Who they came to see You're a... rock star Everybody wants you, player Who can really blame you? We're the ones who made you

[Verse 2] The enforcer, looking for more women to torture Walk up to the cutest girl and Charlie-horse her Sorry Portia, but what's Ellen DeGeneres Have that I don't? Are you telling me tenderness? Well, I can be as gentle and as smooth as a gentleman Give me my Ventolin inhaler, and 2 Xenadrine And I'll invite Sarah Palin out to dinner then Nail her, baby: "say hello to my little friend" Brit: forget K-Fed, let's cut off the middleman Forget him or you're gonna end up in the hospital again And this time it won't be for the Ritalin binge Forget them other men, girl, pay them little attention And little did I mention that Jennifer's in Love with me, John Mayer, so sit on the bench Man, I swear them other guys, you give em an inch They take a mile, they got style, but it isn't Slims

[Hook: Charmagne Tripp] When you walked through the door It was clear to me You're the one they adore Who they came to see You're a... rock star Everybody wants you, player Who can really blame you? We're the ones who made you

[Pre-Verse: Eminem] And that's why, my love, you'll never live without I know you want me girl cause I can see you're checking me out And baby, you know, you know you want me too Don't try to deny it baby, I'm the only one for you (*fart*)

[Verse 3] Damn girl, I'm beginning to sprout an Alfalfa Why should I wash my filthy mouth out? You think that's bad you should hear the rest of my album Never has there been such finesse and nostalgia Man Cash, I don't mean to mess with your gal but Jessica Alba put her breasts on my mouth (blup!) Wowzers! I just made a mess in my trousers And they wonder why I keep dressing like Elvis "Lord help us, he's back in his pink Alf shirt Looking like someone shrinked his outfit!" I think he's 'bout to flip, Jessica Rest assured Superman's here to rescue ya Can you blame me? You're my Amy, I'm your Blake Matter fact, bake me a birthday cake With a saw blade in it to make my jailbreak Baby, I think you just met your soulmate Now break it down, girl

[Outro] Amy! Rehab never looked so good! I can't wait, I'm going back Ha ha, woo! Dr. Dre! 2020!